First Date Horror Stories

I feel like I need to give tribute to the bad dates, that made me stop dating... Oh yeah, they were THAT good.

Here are the top three HORRIBLE first dates:

Winner #1: The Actor

Actor... should have been my first clue. At this time I was still in good shape and feeling good. We met at a small restaurant in Scottsdale for drinks and a small bite.

Sure... he was good looking but stupid... and I am not a person to call someone stupid with out excellent reason. It started with the menu... when he couldn't pronounce things correctly... and asked me what certain things meant...

Not kidding....

It all went down hill from there. His opening conversation was about the weather and how cute I was. Wow. Impressive.

He looked nothing like his picture, still an actor (he had his head shots with him for some reason), he wanted my opinion on them. Once again, not kidding.

He had nothing to talk about, didn't know sports, couldn't talk about the news (didn't watch new, read the paper or get on the Internet).

It was bad... so bad in fact, that I did a bail out call. Seriously, like right out of a movie. Went to the bathroom called my friend to call me back in 5 minutes... then I decided... screw it I can't even stand 5 more minutes... so, I walked to the table on the phone. I could also see that he was on the phone. Perfect... he was getting a bail out too! I said, Oh my friend has a flat on Mill, I need to go help her. He was all my sister just locked herself out of the apartment! He asked if I was going to stay on Mill and I said maybe, see how long the 'tire' takes.

Awesome... we both had a shitty time. I happily went to Mill Ave, to meetup with friends...

Wouldn't you know it... he calls like 60 min later to see where and how we are. He shows UP! Apologizes and then wants to continue the date....

Seriously. PS I said Seriously... WAY before it became popular on Grey's Anatomy.

Runner Up: The Wallet

I decided to meet a person at Starbucks. That was safe, so I thought.

Once again, doesn't look like the picture... perhaps I should stop meeting people off line.

He already was waiting for me with Coffee.... I don't drink Coffee... but hey, still nice. Kudos for trying.

Talking... once again, nothing there. He just asks about me, wants to know about my divorce... so I try to avoid the topic, he wants to hear, so I start unloading... now to a point that i am just trying to scare this guy away... doesn't work.

He then unloads about his last breakup.... he cries... no... not kidding. Apparently, the fact that I had a degree in Counseling made him feel like i was a great person to go out with, as he needed a free counseling session. In the middle of all of this, he asks to go to dinner. He is still crying... the "fix this" person inside of me agrees. I am a bitch, but not that big of one.

We go eat, he cries, feels better thanks me, says this is the best date ever... I'm terrified. We finish up, head out to pay and his credit card gets decline. He has no cash, so of course, I pay.

He says he'll get me back on the next one.... YEAH.....

So that was the date that scared me away from dating... wouldn't it scare you?

The First of Many...

So... like so many women I'm dating.

Wow.. I know not a shocker, but like everyone else, I am sure I feel that my experience is unique and well I guess because it is mine it is.

First, I guess you should learn a bit about me.

I was married at 24 and divorced at 27 (separated at 26)... yep that put a bit of a cramp on my style as you can imagine. Who wanted to date the divorced 27 year old?

The great thing is, I had no kids... no offence to kids, but that is the last thing that I needed!

To add even more to the mix, was I was a virgin when I got married. Yep... a "real" virgin. Now, I am not a religious nut, it was just a self respect thing. A decision I do not regret at all, however, this has created a complication for me...

SEX...

Now, in 2005, we thought we were divorced, paperwork never got filed by lawyers right, so it wasn't official till 206.

I HAVE slept with 2 other people.... it was great.... then I almost slept with a third.... all in the same year and it freaked me the hell out.

I haven't slept with anyone since.. yes... your math is right. No sex, since late 2005.

Now, it is not that I haven't had the opportunity... even from amazingly hot guys, including a Chippendale... yes.. I'm the girl that said no to a Chippendale...

Why? Disease? Fear of Pregnancy?

Nope! I was scared shitless to be honest.

I mean sure, those are all factors to consider... but the BIGGEST thing is... if I start here where do I stop?